BORC-9: A Story About a Boy and His Trash Can

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All orders by post promptly attend ed to Orders of L, and upwards with remittance Carriage Paid. Telephone: National. Telegrams- Express," Cardiff. The public are exceedingly slow to move in any matters which affect them not politically, but locally, such as the management of our hospitals.

A Parliamentary crusade, with some remote and visionary grievance at its front, will awaken a furore; a Kensit bubble will provoke almost universal interest, whether there be any useful object to be attained or no. Yet matters of urgent local necessity, affecting institutions such as the infirmaries, hardly- cause a momentary flutter of the most languid kind.

Hospital discords occasion a week's fiood of wandering gossip and scandal, but the flood of wandering gossip and scandal, but the produce sufficient stir to lead to anything prac- tical. We hope for the time when our infir- maries shall be managed by a publicly-ap- pointed board, and not by persona who qualify themselves easily for hospital committees for their own reasons. Then wa shall discover noble institutions such a3 the Cardiff and Swansea hospitals receiving their full measure of support — support even to overflowing-whereas we are never satisfied at this day about either.

The Swansea board of management has certainly gone further in this direction than the Caidiff governing body. But even in Swansea there is something needed—something which will avoid in future such displays as those to whkk the public are being treated during the transition stage.

It is still a fac, thao, whilst the entire medical profession is willing and anxious to take a prac- tical interest in the infirmaries there is keen competition for honorary places on a hospital staff amongst medical men, and we will infer a good deal from that if we are wise , the various medical officers are still more or less retained amongst a few. And the old idea that a medical man, privileged to be attached to a hospital staff, can adopt a dictatorial attitude towards the managing authority, will not be removed until the circle amongst which staff appoint- ments are distributed is widened.

We hope the Swansea Board will put its foot down over the latest friction which has arisen in such a manner that there shall be no mistake upon the question of authority and government in future. Whilst alterations to the outpatient department of the building are in progress, the board arranged that a portion of the eye- hospital should be devoted temporarily to the purpose of a consulting-room for the outdoor medical staff—a perfectly reason- able arrangement. Immediately upon this decision, however, the eye-hospital staff, far from offering cny sympathy and help, raised frivolous objections, and, upon the board persisting, the resignation of one of the principal eye-hospital doctor was thrown a..

Are there not as good fish in the sea as ever came out of it? Powder and Shot. He's out of limbo as they say in Greece. It seems rather hard of the Monmouthshire county police to arrest a tramp even if he does not go under an alias at times, merely because he stole a set of false teeth. He would pro- bably have returned them as soon as he had satisfactorily disposed of his first meal after the strike. In the excitement of the moment didn't he become :t little mixed about one thing-th3 water buckets? This is the saga Transatlantic comment on the most recent Royal episode: Our cousins j say that it is certainly rather hard on the Prince of Wales if he must be lame for the rest of his life.

They are very simple requirements which the builders on our new warships will be expected to meetionly that they construct craft that can sail half round the world without re-coaling and, inci- dentally, whip everything afloat. Now that the analysts have issued their sum- mer report upon, we should, when tackling a Cardiff street-barrow, change our form of re- quest and ask for a ha'porth of B. As long as these creatures are served cold and cheap, the boys will be satisfied.

At any rate, they are cheaper and more suitable to the weather than Lundy obsters. From Mcses with his stone tablets t a rough-shirted station hand with a red fag and a, wire-bound lattern is a change which will give our termagant Cardiff pastors a nice new shock—fresher than Kensit's. And the night it was still and hot. There was an awful silence for a moment, and then in a timid, hesitating voice the young man in the darkened hall below re,ponded:- "No.

And the night it was more still, but hotter. And the wagon works were seen en fire. Theodore Wood, is discussing birds as trustworthy guides to the seasons, but has omitted Swansea rate- collector—another ancient bird whose liaLits the Rev. Theodore Wood might quota as evi- dence of the seasons. Like the goose, he ajrives about Michaelmas at Swansea resi- dences. The steamer rolled in the wavers on the way to Ifracombe on Thursday. There won't be any. We thought so. Didn't we say so?

Here's an interesting letter from Alderman Trounce explaining it all—and giving an item of news that won't keep this hot weather:— To the Editor of the "Evening Express. Thomas Cook and Son sending tourists from Cardiff to Khartoum, I am sure that you cannot be unaware of the fact that Messrs. Cook have, by their steamer services on the Nile and various Egyptian agencies, rendered most valuable aid and assistance during the. Their work in Egypt may be truly characterised as the development of locomotion and civilisation. It is not their custom to pub- lish anything in the form of testimonials, but the following letter written to them by the lat8 lamented General Gordon shows how thoroughly their travelling arrangements are carried out even in Egypt: — "Korosko, February 1st, Your agents have also on every occasion shown themselves kind and obliging, and have in every way assisted us to the best of their ability.

Cardiff, Sept. The local taxation England account for the year ending March, , showing the amount of the local taxation licences and estate duty paid into the account, and the amounts paid to each administrative county and borough, has just been issued as a Par- liamentary paper. With the exception of small amounts paid for cost? The share of discontinued grants certified by the Local Government Board as having been received during the year was as follows:- Anglesey..

The amounts paid in aid of the police pension funds are as follow-. JE28 2s. JE 12s. The amounts paid to the various councils from the residue of the duties were as men- tioned below:-Anglesey. Sergeant Wm. Mathias, of the Pembroke- shire Yeomanry Cavalry, took third place in the lemon-cutting competitions at the Crystal Palace recently, out of as many as com- petitors, and won a similar position for swords- manship out of competitors. Cardiff Docks After the Strike. A special commissioner was tent by the "Evening Express" to see what effect the settle- ment of the strike had produced at the Docks on Saturday morning.

We regret having to suggest it. This is what he says: — I rose very early the other morning. It was so very early that the cats had not gone to bed and the birds had not got up Naturally, the latter would not get up till the cats had retired. But it was not too early for the milk; it never is. I fell over that when I stole out of the back door. That early morning milk is a mystery to me. How it gets outside your door in the middle of the night I never could understand.

Some- times I think that the milk manufacturers must co-operate with the midnight dustmen. They take away your rubbish, and leave the milk instead. That is a fair exchange, and, judging from the way in which one constantly finds bits of earthworks, coal mines, prehistoric forests. However, after administering comfort to my shins I went out and strolled Dockwards. I got some way down the Bute-road before I met a man. When at the corner of Maria-street, hard by the lire-station, I witnessed a strange, uncanny sight.

I had often suspected it. They were unpack- ing policemen! McKenzie is a careful man, consequently, I presume that when the Docks became depopulated, at the beginning of the strike, he hit upon the plan of putting away superfluous Robertses. Casting round for some means of doing this, his eye fell upon the fire- boxes. What more safe or handy? So there he put them—two in each—neatly folded up, with a due supply of camphor to ward off moth.

Now they were taking them out. They took out the top one. They pumped up his pneumatic waist, to impart an air of strength to his otherwise emaciated limbs. They placed on his feet his indiarubber boots, and hid his truncheon somewhere up his back, so that he could not get at it in a hurry if it were necessary to use it promptly.

Then they tried to bring him round. What a job it was! They jumped on him, they shouted, "Yelp! Kneeling by his side. I whispered in his ear: — "What's yours, old man? I said, slowly and distinctly: — "Mine's Scotch. A little later he was strong enough to move me on. There is no gratitude in man. By this time the early trams were running, and people were coming to the Docks in shoals. It was packed with a seething mass of people. It was like a huge remnant sale.

It was a gladdening, a splendid sight. Bute-street seemed en fete. Every house that had a flag or a bit of bunling had hung it out. Even handkerchiefs with a Union Jack in the corner were made use of. Everyone seemed stipremely happy. Even the foreign seamen beamed from the windows of the various boarding-houses. A small wonder. Five weary, hungry months had they been absent from their respective fatherlands, because there were no ships to take them home.

Round every public-house there was a dense crowd. These were the people who seemed least satisfied. This was evidently because the publicans were totally unable to cope with the demand for drinks. Some had evidently drunk nothing since the beginning of the strike. Tea would have been fatal, water might have bred typhoid. The grocers' shops were hardly less crowded. Hosts of children were entering them, shout- ing in chorus:— "Hi. It was comical, but.

The grocery trade, which for some time past has sunk to a gentle wheeze, had now resumed its custo- mary roar. After a bit I went down to the Docks proper. There a little crowd of excited men vociferated loudly on the Pier-head. In their midst lay an inanmiate form. It was the Pier-head master: 1 hastily inquired what was up.

The query was greeted with shouts of "A ship! Then I understood, and shouted with them. There was a ship, and it was coming to Cardiff! How long was it since a ship had come to Cardiff? I sent my thoughts whirling through the vistas of the past. I could not remember. Had we been cast away upon a desert island for years we could not have been more glad.

It was such a shock to see a big three-master. It would have been better for the state of our minds had some philanthropist sent in a smack first to deaden the shock. Still, we had no right to grumble. Then began a scene of wild confusion. It had become, of course, necessary to open the West Basin of the Bute Docks. The question was, how to do it. Grey-haired, hoary-headed old men ambled up, and, after much scratching of heads, said they thought they had sem it done when they were boys.

After much consultation, the dockmaster got a book of directions on the matter, a. I had not received many instructions from my chief, but I had been told to interview a coa'-trimmer at all costs. So I turned to a nice old gentleman standing by, He was nejt of whisker. His black coat bespoke the gravity of his mind, his white tic was eloquent of respectability. I judged him to be a dock missionary out of work. I asked him if he could direct me to a coal-trimmer. The semblance of a blush tinged his thoughtful face.

After [I. I bore up splendidly at first, but one day I washed my neck. That was the beginning of the end-I had started on the downward slope. I could not stop. I was sorely tempted, and I fell. I put on a clean shirt. After that I went from bad to worse. My wife did all she could to save me, but it was no good. To think that the strike should have brought the pride of our manhood to this!

On 'Change what a scene it was! Merchants and clerks were gathering fast. They were bright and smart. Tailors, somewhat unhinged' by the termina- tion of the strike, had let them have new suits of clothes on credit. There seemed an army of brand new bikes. All was peace and goodwill. What meetings there were. There were partners long since separated weeping on each other's necks.

Brothers re-united after ages. There were great hulking men struggling with managing clerks. It transpired that these hulking men had been office boys before the strike began, and had never had the sack. How boys grow! What a calling, what a shouting, what a running up and down stairs, what a dusting and a clean- ing of offices, what a revisiting of old haunts! And the hotels! What crowds of bald heads round the bars, renewing platonic affections with the ladies who competed for our famous bikes!

What reproachings because Hebe had forgotten the "old dears' favourite concoctions or button-holes had not been brought! Wherever I went it was the same story. Everyone was cheerful and glad at heart. Laughter blended pleasantly with the September sun. In fact, to be brief, if Shak- sperian, "Coalopolis was itself again. Lord Roberts met with an accident on his way home after Wednesday's fight in con- nection with the mimic warfare on Salisbury I Plain.

By some mischance he fell with his horse into a stream, but was not hurt, a duck- ing being the extent of his injuries. The salmon fishing season on the Tivy has just closed, and the takes at Newport Pem. Dognells have been the worst expe- rienced for years. Clears Agri- cultural Show is, perhaps, the most successful fixture of its kind in the "county of broad acics," and previous records were on Thursday again eclipsed. The weather was almost trcpical, and the attendanoe was larger tii. The entries for this, the twentieth exhi- bition, numbered Harries, Railway Hotel and the great success which has attended his efforts.

Financially, also, th; society is sound. Their cattle and horses are m superb condition, and so keen was the competition on Thursday that the judges had to call in referees in several cases. The judges were:—Hunters and hackneys: Mr. Rowland Owens, Gart-hmyl, Montgomery.

Cart horses and ponies: Mr. George Prout, Barnlake, Neyland. Black cattle and pigs Mr. Ffynongron, Wolfscastle R. Evan Evans, Maesmynach, Hanybyther. Shorthorn cattle and sheep: Mr. Dairy produce: Miss Lewis. Llandigwinet, near Pembroke, and Mr. Frank Weate, the Butter Factory, St. Unfortunately, the year's president Mr. Carver, of Wenallt was unable to be present owing to indisposition, and the company at the luncheon was presided over by Sir Charles Philipps, Bart.

Stephens, of Arlais, Kidwelly. Or perhaps a team never showed up to the starting blocks. So a Filler team was needed. This team was Morgwegian. Shitt this is a fun team to play with. Morg has had an absolute ball in the Emily Regional. In five games Morg has scored 4 TDs and 10 Cas. Not being able to pick opponents as meant the inducement game occassionally requires a bit of work. Against DDamAge's Rats, he had to fire his perfectly healthy pet Ulf and go into the game with only 9 teammates. But Morg has been a success story.

Despite getting one less game than the other teams he carries the Round 1 concession loss , with 3 wins and 2 draws, Morg is in a position to take the trophy. All that stands in his way is a Khemri team. Sphinxes from Mars, a team that pitch cleared Freezy Trees a few seasons back. The Trees have never beaten a bash team. However, Morgwegian has! A win early next week will secure the Regional victory!

But before that happens Morg must cross back across the ditch. And play 6 games on the Deserted Isles. Morg is coming to the Capital Shield! Still in the second tier what's the lay of the land look like? In the past two seasons I've foolishly publicly set myself lists of ten goals for the season. Time to set the bar a bit lower? I was tempted to take a wandering Apo and Boomer, but then I was reminded that Boomer and Disturbing Presence is not a good mix, so I went with the usual wizard.

DustBunny's team is not typical Nurgle. No claw, no piling on, only 2 mighty blow. Three blodge pestigors one with Ag4 might have something to do with it. Last time we met I lost , and I was expecting similar today. This is "Rock" - I've never beaten Rock. It snowed all game, maybe good sign for Norse? Drive 1 Nurgle receives. Rather than hold off until it's too late I reached for the Wizard pretty early.

The wizard I hire is one that tussock recommended a while ago, and he rarely disappoints. Fireball on the 5 player cage. Nurgle warrior and Beast knocked down, ball carrier Pestigor stunned, and most importantly Stonetroll the tackle pestigor KOed. Lorax eventually secured the ball and ran scoring on turn 4. Drive 2 All 3 KOed linemen decide not to take the field and I'm at a small numbers disadvantage. Despite this, Nurgle fists freeze up and rarely do more than pushes.

This forces the ball carrying pestigor to make a break up the sideline, but sidelines are not your friend against Frenzy, so a GFI infield. KOed Next comes my favorite turn of the game. Turn 8: Lorax has the ball 20 paces from the End Zone, let's try to socre! Surely Nuffle wouldn't deny me this now?

Never mind, I still have a reroll. But Lorax is on fire and Stonetroll is still KOed. Lorax blitzes and breaks tackle to freedom. No tacklers to take down this blodger, another score. No consolation TD. The game finishes So it looked to be a battle between Legend Grumnir and Superstar Lorax, how do the two stack up? Snow Troll was a priority. Drive 1: Stags receive. But Grumnir had the ball and with so little tackle on my team was always going to be difficult to stop. Boomer bomb took out my only tackler. First points Grumnir.

Drive 2: Trees receive. Blitz , scoring in 3 turns was made harder by this and I failed. Clark did kill a Blitzer though, yay Clark! Drive 3: Trees receive. Now it was Lorax's turn to strut his stuff. Scored Turn 7 2nd half. Drive 4: Stags receive. This is where the extra movement of Grumnir could stand tall over Lorax and laugh at him from a great height. Didn't happen though. He certainly came closer in his 2 turn attempt than I did in my 3.

I need tackle, I need guard, I want mighty blow. And what better way to celebrate the Trees' 50th than a game against High Elves. This race has a nasty habit of killing my favorite players. Thing One and Pop both sent to the next world by High Elf boots. Despite having never won a Premiership one of only 4 non stunty races yet to do it , High Elves have been successful at getting into the top table. Drive 1: I receive. Lorax fumbles the pick-up and in come the elves. Thankfully after clearing a good path, their designated ball retriever fails a dodge and Lorax gets another chance. The Ulf rumbles up the sideline, but with our favourite Yeti on the floor and facing a barrage of boots all he did was maim a thrower!

Drive 2: Elves receive. Elves run, pass and score but not before Thrower number 2 is placed in Casualty - why don't we get credited for crowd surf Cas? Halftime Drive 3: Elves receive. Elves run, pass and score Drive 4: Despite the Cas count being heavily against the Norse, the beauty of reserves mean the numbers are on my side. Lorax collects the ball and rumbles up the sideline again. Suddenly, Yertle, team captain finds himself dead, another scalp for the High Elves No, it seems his powers are reserved for the two stars and them alone.

So continuing his rumble up the sideline, it seems this might be destined for a draw. But it wouldn't be a game against elves without a dash of BS thrown in. Lorax surfs the cheeky elf, but then his Sure Hands let him down again! Eventually the pick up sticks and the score. A very enjoyable game. So 5 games under my belt against High Elf teams who have been good enough to visit Prem, and I've never lost to any of them.

I can't say that about many races Three games in a row in Conf without a loss! Two players nudging 50 games. Two just past Can be awful, can be glorious. How best to stop Lorax from sure handedly picking up the ball and driving up for the score? Kick it to someone else. New captain Old Fish caught it and being a perfectly capable blodger decided to score quickly and get Helmut sent off. However, cages are not so secure against Vampire. My only Tackler had a decent go but was unable to bring the ball carrier down. First score to the Vamps. Three turns to score.

Get close but lacked a corner on the cage. Halftime I was told by a content Vampire coach that there were 20 bloodlust rolls in the first half. Two failures, both successfully rerolled. Drive 3: Vampires receive. Thralls were dropping like flies, and it wasn't their bosses doing the damage. A M7 vampire made a break, but not quite fast enough to escape Lorax. Time for the Vampires to get hungry, and their coach to have a mega brain fade. One Vamp scurries off the field in search of a snack, the ball carrier joins him next turn as Lorax bumps him into the crowd.

Full time Lorax gets his 6th TD of the season. Confidence building. Wizards make me nervous. Who would win? First drive Lorax collects the ball of course. I'm beginning to think that I'm relying a bit too much on my superstar. Should spread the SPP love around a bit. However, winning comes first, and there's no doubt Lorax is a game winner So the Ulf rumbles up the field, ever wary of the wizard in JPM's back pocket. He's one that does share the SPP love. Golem failed the pass attempt that would have given him a skill Second half.

Time for Lorax to shine on defence. BT dodge, GFI hit on the unsuspecting ghoul ball carrier. Werewolves can be tricky buggers. Lykaios the Younger spots his wolf partner in crime standing in the End Zone. And sets off for the score. Could Apollo Lyceus make the simple catch to score.

Handover, Catch [2] win for the Freezy Trees. Cas , puts me back in the black for career Cas and one of the season goals temporarily ticked off. Sitting on top of the table admittedly with an extra game under my belt. This is a solid team all around. However, there's no denying that Ubirr III is a monster, and I'd need some fireworks to get the ball off him. Did I mention that this was the most important game to date of my SWL career? Sitting in second, facing the top team, if I could win then I'd be in the box seat to take the conference title and promotion to Prem.

Then parked his team, and returned in Conference. So by his reckoning, nobody has taken the prem title from him yet This game was insane. So much to write about, so many snapshots I want to take First Half - I kick, damn! Time for some fireworks. Four out of five orcs prone - including the Star. Ball bounces over 3 bodies, not quite into the clear. In comes my captain, Old Fish, scoops up the ball in a tackle zone RR required. The smart thing to do would be NOT to try to hand off, pass to Lorax, and have him charge deep into Orc land to freedom and glory.

I didn't do the smart thing. Failed handoff. Norse Sack 2 - Clark has an easy 2D hit on the new ball carrier. Clark is dead Old Fish's chance to redeem his poor decision making and be the hero. Hurls the ball 11 squares towards the halfway line. Norse Sack 4 - Go Boomer! More fireworks needed. In a tackle zone he chucks it 2 yards adjacent to Ubirr III the ball carrier of course. Intercept failed, pass [6], BOOM! Ubirr III stunned on the turf. No Norse Sack number 5, Orcs collect the ball, form a tight cage near the line. All that's left to do is dodge Lorax away in an attempt to form a pitiful 3 man screen.

Let's show him what Clark can do S4 Stand firm Blodger, no tackle on my team after he was sent off knocking out a troll. Only option seems to flee. But before that let's try a couple of 2D hits with my Berserker The smart thing to do would be stop now, NOT roll the dice. Little Cat B does the smart thing. Old Fish runs, time for Old Fish is the hero draw. Amazing game. Prem is still in reach. I need these Orcs to stumble again preferably a loss , and I need to beat a Khemri team that pitch cleared me last time we met.

I neeeeeed this one to get to Prem. Who cares what my team looks like when I get there. Dirty Tricks? I don't need a treasury in Prem. What I need, is to get there. Pitch cleared the Trees the first time I met them. Denied Morgwegian my filler team a Regional Trophy. How would they screw me over this time? First Drive. Lorax receives. Dances about a bit then pushes through. Second Drive - Turn 6.

Smashed ankle -MA! Khemri brutally march forward, removing Norse players as they go. Turn 8, time for the other Ulf to step up. End of turn Wizard. You better be worth the investment. Lightning Bolt But, the Sphinxes can score. All they need to do is clear a Norse lineman off the ball. Halftime to the good guys.

But the good guys are scared and don't want to leave the KO bin. This could be a problem. The bulk of the team staying around the LOS causing me grief. Meanwhile a small squad of bony ones head up the sideline to try for a quick score they need the win too. And New Fish the runner joins him. Khemri still in a hurry. Skelly elf-ball RR TD NO!!!!!!

Explorers of the Unknown: Disastergeddon!

They have 3 turns to score. I have 4 turns to score. Quick Snap! A pretty successful season. How did I do on the goals? So with a lowered bar, surely I must have aced them Failure 6 Return to a positive Cas differential Failure.. One of last season's goals which I dropped as being completely unrealistic is still alive. Promotion to Prem. All that is required is for a perennial Regional human team, sitting at the bottom of his pool in his first time in Conf, to beat or draw with a Necromantic ex-Prem winning monster. Easy Go the Hostile Kiddies!

Kiddies capitulated and hid in the corner whilst only down. Finished the worst of the 2nd placers. One spot short of promotion. Next season, keep the unbeaten record but try to convert some of the many draws into wins. Last season I was one spot away from promotion to the big time 5 out 24 teams went up, I was 6th , can I go that extra inch this time? Who stands in my way?

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A good mix. And the goals. Lowering the bar didn't help, so why not set lofty goals so that even getting only 3 of them will make me happy?

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Fail 12 Blood Lust rolls. I failed So when facing a similar self-destruction of a vampire side I felt something. There's a word for it, what describes that feeling of deep understanding, empathy, horror, compassion Yes at the end of the first half there was only 1 Vampire left on the pitch, no thralls. At the end of the 2nd half there was only 2 Vampires left on the pitch, no thralls. How could I not win in a situation like that? Well, let me show you something a bit special. At turn 6 1st half.

I have the ball, and 10 players. The Vamps have a lonely 2 Vamps. Two options, dash for the line and risk stuffing everything up on a failed GFI, or perhaps watch them score in 3 turns. Or seek the safety of fellow teammates and stall. What could possibly go wrong? Good guys scored in the end turn Even when I nearly 1st half pitch cleared the Fun Police, or beat the much softer Misery, the Cas count in the end was against me.

Against Eau de Toilet the Cas count was against me from the start. First 4 blocks of the game resulted in 3 Norse leaving the field. Clark died! Clark, died! I think that's the 3rd or 4th time he has left this world Thank you Apo. Two team mates were no so lucky, one of the two now bats for the other team. This week saw the introduction of a dice tracking ap in Fumbbl. This gives the opportunity for coaches to pour over the stats and have evidence to back up the right royal bollocking they give their players. Useless buggers. But again, you can't win the bash game against Nurgle, losing it that badly -6 Cas diff makes it pretty hard to win any other sort of game against Nurgle.

Irgy was ruthlessly efficient at capitalizing on this advantage. The 2 deaths were only rookie linemen. The permanent was against an already injured reroll on legs. Can't be two unhappy with that. Before this changeover, eganra ran another rat team in SWL, for games. Skaven teams get beaten up - they are paper. Well this skaven team was not beaten up, and gave me a whopping k in inducements. I thought fast and stabby stars would be more fun that a wizard.

First drive went pretty well. Rats happened This is where the whinging could start. But look at that top frame. There was so much I could have done to mitigate things. I didn't, I stuffed up. So instead of "Woe is me, why do you curse me so, Nuffle", it's a meek retreat into my own incompetence, and a realisation there is much further to travel.

Much to learn, hopefully some of these harsh lessons would stick. Still enjoying the journey. More stuff happened. Rats scored again. Lorax lost the ball again. Old Fish recovered it pretty well I thought. Old Fish scored. SWL has seen hundreds of elves in its long and illustrious history. You'd expect most of the agility records would be held by dead elves. But no, the Snowleopards have two quite special players, and they're still breathing: Hoover widowmaker has the alltime passing record yards , the season completion record 22 , and the season passing yard record yards.

He also has a host of season awards Bolwgan Softrock is everybody's favorite Strength 1 Legend. He currently sits second in the per game leaderboard for SPP 4. He's also a 1TTD specialist. Shutting down these two seemed a priority. In charges Gox and knocks him down, no armour break though - not good enough. In comes a lineman with the Foul, gouged eye, MNG. Take that, elf passing game! In retaliation the elves knock down ulf Gox, and Foul him. Normally I'd resist medical treatment so early in the game, I have more special players than Gox for the Apo.

But no, these are elves, must be a fluke, they can't hurt me anymore. Let's race ahead and see the end game stats. In contrast the Wood Elvs got 5 Cas. Beaten up by Elves, outfouled by elves. This can't have gone well. Back to the first drive. Lorax rumbles up the field. Elves get outnumbered slightly, but they seem to be able to place anyone anywhere, and by the end of the drive Lorax is tied up and feels the need to make a break.

This didn't go well last game, how would he do today? No reroll or even BT required. Out comes the sun. But who needs a passing game when I can kick the ball out? And who needs two turns to score when you can do it in one? Fourth Drive.

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Elves receive. Stack the line for their 1TTD manouvre leaving one guy back to receive. One guy back fails the pickup. Forward charge the norse. Elves swarm one of the three charging Norse - Lorax. But not far enough. TD Fifth Drive. Time for Nuffle to step in. What a complete Bastard!

None left. I met him 15 games ago, and managed to scramble a draw. He's still alive and still a difficult bugger to stop. Norse and Orcs, not really noted as teams you'll see a lot of passing with. My own team has never had a player with more than 2 completions to his name. Well, would you believe there were 8 passes in this game? And that's not including the 3 bombs that Boomer hurled.

First drive, Orc pressure saw Lorax hand off to New Fish who ran for the line. Ball dropped. In comes Luke who along with a friend stands next to the ball and the prone New Fish. Wizard zaps Luke off the field KO , all New Fish needs to do is blitz the friend away and pick up the ball. I joke with the crowd to be nice to me if he fumbles A bit of biffo ensues, but New Fish recovers it and scores. But all the KOed Orcs come back and have a good 3 turns to score before halftime.

Look at Luke after his turn 7. Thanks to the diving tackle goblin falling flat on his face Lorax has a shot at Luke with an assist. Black Orc catches it! Turn 8. Hand off to the thrower, blitzer in the End Zone. Thrower runs PASS 5 PASS 6 Back into the field of play. Half Time to the good guys The second drive was a tussle and a half. Boomer manages to set the ball free for Lorax to snaffle.

But the green tide was an immense thing to try and stop. A S4 Wrackler gets it off Lorax. Luke scores. Old Fish picks it up. A bit of a screen. Things look very very good. Diving Tackler on the ball carrier. Followed by a blitz through the screen and New Fish finds himself with 3 friends.

A DT goblin, and a Tackler amongst them. Need to dodge. In fact all 10 of my season goals look likely to fail. But I have a record! Lots of Ulfwereners have taken the pitch, in [L]eague, [R]anked and [B ox. None of them have ever rushed with ball in hand as far as Lorax has. First time they pitch cleared me, 2nd time a tense draw. Your amazing warm and helpful hints and tips signifies much a person like me and still more to my mates.

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